What happened to Oris?

Well, we have had two sightings of Mr. George and Patsy in the last month. Below is the story of the Sept. 16th sighting.

“Well, the long awaited day finally arrived! Mr. Reed’s visit. At seven am, on the dot, in a storm of dust, Oris pulled up with screeching tires and a bit of a Dodge “drift”. See, Patsy didn’t come along this visit, so he was in rare form, being out alone. He hopped out of the truck and immediately demanded breakfast. That wasn’t part of the deal, but being the wonderful hostess that I am, I made him eggs, bacon, ham, pancakes, homemade buttermilk biscuits and freshly squeezed orange juice. After he ate, he hustled Jon out to the pasture to get the donkeys, and told me I could come out and watch after I cleaned up the mess and every dirty dish was washed, dried and put away. After I cleaned up the mess left by Oris and Jon, I stumbled out to the pen. Oris said the first thing I had to do was go get a willow switch. That isn’t good news, I knew why I had always been sent for a willow switch when I was younger. Jon was just standing in the pen, shaking like a leaf, so I figured he wasn’t gonna be any help. I went and got the switch and had to de-bark it with my knife. By that time, I had to go fetch the boys something to drink, and start lunch. Supposedly, they had started both Farina and Mercy while I was doing chores, but I didn’t see it. I quickly got lunch ready, chicken on the grill, potato salad, cole slaw, homemade buttermilk biscuits, chocolate cake (homemade, of course) and a few other items that Oris had “required” for training day! Our good friend Dennise showed up, and Oris made her feel badly for him, seeings as how he hadn’t had a haircut in two years (and he would have fit in well at a Grateful Dead show, or Woodstock), so she, being a hairdresser, cut his hair for him. He was kind enough to give her a quarter. I drew the line at giving him a pedicure, no matter how much he begged! Jon and Oris went back to the pens to work the donkeys some more, while I cleaned up after lunch, washed Oris’ truck, detailed the inside of his truck, and wrote a few chapters of his book. Finally, after running some more errands for them, I got to watch the actual driving of the donkeys. Not herding, mind you, one of MY first lessons, driving. I’m not allowed to tell a few of the secrets to some of the tack accessories, but I will write them in my memoirs so our grandchildren will benefit from the knowledge in fifty or so years. Jon finally stopped shaking, although Oris did say that Jon was one good cluck away from dying by willow switch. Jon came in this evening and I had to give him a sedative from all of the day’s excitement (sedative by baseball bat). Jon said he did save his own life by not kissing to the donkeys even once! All the donkeys seem to respond to “get up bitch” now. Don’t know where they got that from, must have been Dennise, cause I know it wouldn’t be sweet Oris or gentle Jon.
I must say, out of Robert, er, anon in NM’s advice, the bib overalls would have been best, although Jon claimed he couldn’t find his, the long, welding gloves were the best advice ever, and of course, chocolate cake was the only thing to calm Mr. Reed down.
Ooooops, better go, gotta change the bandages on Jon’s knuckles. Glad I could share the truth, the whole truth and nothin’ but the truth!”

Sincerely yours,
tanya

Tanya,

You’re much too nice. I always make Oris take me out for lunch. I might fry him a hard egg, but never homemade biscuits (he’d make fun of them anyway).

As for the truth… I’m not sure I’ve seen any of that on this blog.

Jan

We had another Oris sighting today.
Well, Oris showed up bright and early this morning for another training session for Jon and the donkeys. I was ready this time with a full breakfast already on the table. Oris and Jon ate their fill, then went to work. I, of course, cleaned up after them. By the time I was done with the breakfast dishes, Oris reminded me that his truck was dirty again, so I set out to wash and wax it and detail the inside. He also had me give it a tune up, complete with changing the oil, etc. After I was done with that, it was about time for lunch, so I put out my infamous spread of food. I had made steak and black bean chili, homemade flour tortillas, had to milk the cow and churn the butter for the tortillas, drove up the mountain to the spring to get Oris his natural spring water to drink, and of course, baked a chocolate cake. Oris ate five helpings of chili, poor Patsy, glad she had to live with him tonight, should be warm in Lamar! Jon and I each had a tiny slice of cake, and Oris polished it off too. Oris and Jon then went out to work the donkeys some more. I had to write five more chapters of Oris’ book, balance his checkbook, darn his socks, and he brought ten loads of laundry for me to do, in case I got “bored”. After the laundry was finished and I ironed it all and folded it, I got to go out and watch the donkey training. I am impressed, there is a huge improvement in the donkeys in the few weeks they’ve been worked. Jon has stopped shaking every time Oris speaks, and with him calming down, the donkeys have too. Poor Patsy, after having to sit in the truck most of the day last time, stayed out home today. All in all, a very productive day for me and the donks.
tanya

I think he’s roused!

Wow Carol,
If I weren’t so far away, I’d like to be at the Harvest Festival!! Hope you have a good turnout. Watch out for Ol’ Oris, he can eat you out of house and home, so plowing thru a festival full of refreshments is nothin’!
tanya

OG has been found. He’s hiding behind the name of Smith. Claims to be a whole different guy. Got another woman on the string… some chickie named Mike that he says he’s working for. The gal claims to be a photographer with a soup strainer that rivals FDR’s and takes some stellar pictures… You can catch a glimpse of his work over at the http://mpfundraisers.com/blog or an article or two.